my phoenix problem

i’m into re-invention, but maybe a little bit too much. i throw my all into a project and then destroy it. i’ve started and ended so many blogs that i have a mess of domains and drafts that i will likely never go through. i have so many ideas that i end up hating the old one and tossing it into the wastebasket in hopes of making something new.

this process is a little bit frustrating, because it is hard for me to develop any kind of cohesive brand because i am shapeshifting so often. as i learn this about myself (i am currently 26) i am wondering if there is a way to accommodate my shapeshifting, or if there are any common threads in the history of work that i do.

one of my favorite artists keri smith pushed an idea on me that we are allowed to reinvent ourselves at any time. i’ve taken this to heart, and as a result have created this fluid identity that is a jack of all trades and master of none. it’s a hard place to be, but i know with certainty that i would not fit in anywhere else.

it’s like another taoist idea i read – that only the sages know the value of being useless. if you don’t fit into any of the pre-carved categories that exist (in terms of career) you are then tasked with pioneering a route of your own. and, in a world of accelerating change, i am hoping that my shapeshifting and inability to settle on a path will allow me to be agile and receptive to unheard of fields.

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connorthemiller

connor miller lives in seattle, washington

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