this week, cheyenne and i were tourists in our own city! we went to the seattle aquarium, the chihuly glass museum, and the space needle, all in one day. cheyenne’s favorite part was seeing otters, and i loved being underneath glass vines and blossoms at the museum. at the top of the space needle, cheyenne and i pointed out various landmarks from our time in seattle: “look, that’s where we live”, “look that’s where you work”. and! we had ice cream.
i loved the entirety of the glass museum, but one piece in particular is standing out in my memory right now. there were two boats set upon a black surface. One was filled with glass orbs that looked like oversized marbles. The other was filled with tubers and shells, bits and bobs as if someone had plucked all the artifacts out of an alien ocean. what i liked about these was the banality of the boats and wildly fantastic vibrancy of their contents.
i take a lot of photos of my cat, and it’s kind of embarrassing. i used to be the kind of person that would scoff at people who loved their cats. i used to think that they were being a little over the top. but now, i can’t help but be part of the club. sophie, the little black cat my girlfriend adopted, has become a source of huge joy in my life.
it is hard to figure out exactly why i lose my shit over this cat. when i wake up in the morning, she is asleep on the pillow next to me. when i work at my desk, she is perched in her little cat bed to my left on the windowsill. when i sit and watch tv, she finds a spot nearby. perhaps what i like to much about this cat is that she prefers to be nearby.
usually i enjoy things because they puzzle my brain. i like challenges, difficult questions, and changing environments. the joy i feel when i spend time with my cat is a lot different. it is simpler. and as an over thinker, this confuses me. when my cat closes her eyes when i scratch her cheeks, i think “why do animals elect to spend time with us?” and i still have trouble finding the answer.
writing has been difficult because i’ve been trying to make money instead of thinking about the quality of my content. as a result, i often feel stuck and don’t know what to create, because the question i am asking myself if “what will get me paid” as opposed to “what do i want to write”. getting around this is a form of practice, and gaining momentum and confidence in the fact that i do have interesting things to say, independent of the monetary reward.
this relates to the work i do with creatives. online artists sell their work online, and sometimes it can get difficult when one is making art to sell rather than making art for the joy of it. this sounds childish, but it is not. the thing that makes a lot of art good is from the artist’s intent. and we, the people of the internet, have a strong radar for content that is fake and aimed at selling us a product rather than enriching our lives.
i wonder if i can find my home again on the internet, and start writing things that are more grounded in my interests. as a business-minded person, i sometimes forget the things i like because i am limiting myself to creating things that are profitable. This doesn’t work, and ultimately makes me unhappy. so, here, i hope to rebel against this trend in the best way possible, by practice and continuously refining the process.